Mothers Day Humor

“My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
If you’re going to kill each other, do it  outside.  I just finished cleaning.”

“Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow
You’re a honey. . . and you’re a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo’s “booty”.

A Love Story
“I shall seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and control you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.
And you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu ”

“It was their fifth anniversary, and Maty and Ann had just returned from the movies.
Ann was feeling romantic. ‘Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?’ she crooned.
‘Why not?’ Mary grunted. ‘Didn’t I love you through four other shades?’ ”

“My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
“A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday school presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son’s memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, “I am the light of the world.” The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice said, “My mother is the light of the world.”

Mothers’love
“I loved you enough to ask where you are going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though I could afford to buy one for you.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a jerk. I loved you enough to make you pay for the toy you had taken and tell the clerk’ ” I stole this yesterday, and I want to pay for it.”
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children should know that their parents aren’t perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh, they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. … Those were the most difficult battles of all. I am glad I won them, because in the end, you won too . And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.”

“Rob: Anny I can’t buy you Mercedez like Ankit did for his girlfriend, nor I have Big bank balance or a huge palace like bungalow but the fact is I love you more than I love my life…………….
Anny: I love you too!! Sweet heart!! but can you tell me more about Ankit.”

“A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style.
If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.”
Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener.”